whc weekly word – 11/26/20

Advice on Loving Better

This past Sunday I shared out of 1st Corinthians, Chapter 7.  It discussed our roles as single individuals and married couples, focusing on sexual relations inside and outside of marriage.  If you missed it and you have questions, perhaps you can click on this link and listen to the most recent message.


The passage addresses all of us. 

I spoke in that message about what God has for us but I wanted to continue that a little and speak to a fraction of what else can help you have a loving peaceful relationship with your spouse.

Let’s start at the beginning, the day you got married and said your vows.  When you say those vows, you are making a promise to be faithful and true to one another, for as long as you both shall live.  Stay true.

Honor your spouse.  There may be justified occasion where you lose respect for your spouse, but you should still be respectful.  That much is your responsibility to help pay honor to them, deserving or not.  Not deserving does not give you the right to become disrespectful to each other.  This person is the one you chose to live your life with.  You have a biblical responsibility to honor one another.  Failing to do so will exacerbate deterioration in the home.

Live and love together in humility.  Jesus gave the best example of humility and meekness.  Neither one of those are an indicator of weakness.  In fact they are just the opposite.  Humility is a sign of restraint.  When you know your actions can be from a defensive posture or aggressive, being humble shows restraint, meekness and maturity.  If every person who had a Black Belt in Karate walked around knocking people to the floor because they could, their example and testimony would be damaging to their character.  It’s knowing they can, but they don’t that makes them humble.

Have patience. Instead of focusing on what you want when you want it, have patience.  Why do things need to move when you want them to?  Why do people need to think or respond the way you would?  Why can’t your spouse figure out issues on their own and when they do, you commend them for a job well done.  You don’t need to let them know you could have done that a half hour ago.  Does that help anyone knowing that?  Grow your spouse by allowing them to be themselves and in all cases where it applies, have patience.

Be understanding.  Use phrases like, “I can see why you think that way.”  Or “I understand why this bothers you.”  Don’t be the measurement of how people should think or what they should do.  Know that you don’t need to be right.  Be understanding and nurture growth in that person God gave to you.  Tell them they did a good job instead of asking them what took so long.

Have unity.  To have unity, you have to have people on board with what you are doing.  Are you doing the right thing by God’s standard or yours?  If you can unite the family through God’s leading, they will follow your leadership with peace of mind.  They do that because they trust you.  All you can do is the right thing.

The list is longer but I’ll close with this.  When people think about what love is, do they think of you?  In 1 Corinthians 13, it lists what love looks like.  What if instead of the word “Love” you inserted your name?  Is this what people see in you or say about you?  Looking at this passage helps you to see what you can work on if it doesn’t match.  Give it a try.  

1 Corinthians 13:

      4 ____ is patient, ____ is kind. ____ does not envy, is not boastful, is not

     arrogant, 5 is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a

     record of wrongs. 6 ____ finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the

     truth. 7 He/She bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all

     things.  8 ____ never ends.

How did you do?  Now that you know what you need to work on, stop, pray and ask God to help you where you need it most.  Talk to you soon,